A short novel:

My dad

by Anne-Laure, Aude and Géraldine (May 2005)

The last time I saw my father I was in Grand Central Station. I was going from my grandmother's in the Adirondacks to a cottage on the Cape that my mother had rented, and I wrote my father that I would be in NYC between trains for an hour and a half and asked if we could have lunch together. His secretary wrote to say that he would meet me at the information booth at noon, and at twelve o'clock sharp I saw him coming through the crowd. He was a stranger to me, my mother divorced him three years ago, and I hadn't been with him since. I recognised him straight away. And I felt strange and huge emotions : my first feeling was a certain kind of happiness which is very difficult to explain. In fact this man remained my father and I missed him even if he made me suffer a lot.

Then my hatred and my grudge went out of me again. I remembered that day when he left my mother and me without any apparent reasons and all these years of agony and lack of father 's love.

He came in front of me. I was really anxious to meet him. Indeed time is responsible for certain things that we cannot erase. He was a dark-haired and green-eyed man. His size and elegance impressed me. He wanted to take me in his arms but I remained extremely cold. I saw him disappointed. Then we went to a café. He started telling me about his rebuilt life. I caught a glimpse!!!

My dad was a very renowned lawyer of New York. He lived in a lovely villa with his new wife : Pamela. She was my dad ‘s employee when he lived together with my mother. I will call her "his wonderful secretary" as she does not make any wonder!!! So I discovered his honesty. I didn't speak. I looked at him, at his pretty face which was so beautiful with that of my mother. He tried to ask me some questions but I remained a great deal evasive.

At the end of our meeting place, he asked me to spend a few days with him in his new home. I accepted more from curiosity than desire.

The summer holidays arrived, I passed my exams with success. I was in a good day when I came to his home.

At the first moment, I felt I was not at my place. The luxurious home was frightening. My dad showed me my room and I could recognise a little part of my childhood. He had kept all the things that he had got of me and I saw he had made efforts to please me, to please my mind that he had lost with time.

The first week was quite nice. " His wonderful secretary" took care of me, she seemed glad and polite. I think she tried to become my friend. She was a blond-haired and dark-eyed woman. Her dark look made me feel uneasy. Of course, she was very pretty and I guessed she was in her thirties. I hated her disdainful look. And I quickly understood that the kindness she expressed toward me was only to please my dad. That is why, after the second week, I started playing her game. In fact, the night before, I had heard her saying to my dad : " Edouard, you have to choose : it is your daughter or me ! I can't stand the child of another woman under my roof!! "

The next day, when my dad and his stupid blonde were together on the sofa, I asked him to take me to the cinema, only him and me. My stepmother turned pale. My dad ‘s face became anxious. I felt the extreme tension between us. My joy was intense. Meanwhile, Pamela stood up, looked at my father furiously and banged the door of their room in a big noise. He started following her but I held him back and with all my subtlety, I convinced him to stay with me. I was terribly satisfied.

A few days later, it was the celebration of their first rendezvous. That is why my dad offered Pamela a week end in Venice. He had organised this trip several months before. "His wonderful secretary" accepted with joy. However I quickly stopped her feeling.

We were all in the kitchen. After he had kissed her tenderly, I said with a little innocent voice : " Can I come with you because I'm extremely afraid of staying in this house that I do not know with all these strange neighbours?"

Immediately, my stepmother turned back in my direction. She was looking at me with huge ferocity. She exploded in a very long speech where she stuck her face next to mine, yelling in my ears. She accused me of destroying her couple, of being an ungrateful daughter without feelings and respect for her dad. She blamed me for lying, for imagining some excuses and reasons to prevent my dad from living. I was lost in her frightening look. I couldn't think. My dad seemed extremely sad.

He tried to calm Pamela but she left us shouting and slamming the door.

She never came back. I returned home with my mum in my little village.

That is how I have made all of my dad’s new lovers leave since I came back to his life…

If you wish to react to this article, write to the editor.

Note from the editor:

The starter - the first thirteen lines - is an excerpt from John Cheever, an American novelist (1912-1982)